DARWIN AWARD WINNER FOR 1997 ANNOUNCED
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 You all know about the Darwin Awards - It's an annual honor given to the
 person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the
 most extraordinarily stupid way

 The 1995 winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled
 over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.

 In 1996 the winner was an air force sergeant who attached a JATO unit to his
 car and crashed into a cliff several hundred feet above the roadbed.

 And now, the 1997 winner: Larry Waters of Los Angeles-one of the few Darwin
 winners to survive his award-winning accomplishment.

 Larry's boyhood dream was to fly.  When he graduated from high school, he
 joined the Air Force in hopes of becoming a pilot.  Unfortunately, poor
 eyesight disqualified him.  When he was finally discharged, he had to satisfy
 himself with watching jets fly over his backyard.

 One day, Larry, had a bright idea.  He decided to fly.  He went to the local
 Army-Navy surplus store and purchased 45 weather balloons and several tanks of
 helium.  The weather balloons, when fully inflated, would measure more than
 four feet across.

 Back home, Larry securely strapped the balloons to his sturdy lawn chair.  He
 anchored the chair to the bumper of his jeep and inflated the balloons with
 the helium. He climbed on for a test while it was still only a few feet above
 the ground.

 Satisfied it would work, Larry packed several sandwiches and a six- pack of
 Miller Lite, loaded his pellet gun-figuring he could pop a few balloons when
 it was time to descend-and went back to the floating lawn chair.  He tied
 himself in along with his pellet gun and provisions. Larry's plan was to
 lazily float up to a height of about 30 feet above his back yard after
 severing the anchor and in a few hours come back down.

 Things didn't quite work out that way.

 When he cut the cord anchoring the lawn chair to his jeep, he didn't float
 lazily up to 30 or so feet. Instead he streaked into the LA sky as if shot
 from a cannon.

 He didn't level of at 30 feet, nor did he level off at 100 feet.  After
 climbing and climbing, he leveled off at 11,000 feet.  At that height he
 couldn't risk shooting any of the balloons, lest he unbalance the load and
 really find himself in trouble.  So he stayed there, drifting, cold and
 frightened, for more than 14 hours.

 Then he really got in trouble.

 He found himself drifting into the primary approach corridor of Los Angeles
 International Airport.

 A United pilot first spotted Larry.  He radioed the tower and described
 passing a guy in a lawn chair with a gun.  Radar confirmed the existence of an
 object floating 11,000 feet above the airport.

 LAX emergency procedures swung into full alert and a helicopter was dispatched
 to investigate.

 LAX is right on the ocean.  Night was falling and the offshore breeze began to
 flow.  It carried Larry out to sea with the helicopter in hot pursuit.

 Several miles out, the helicopter caught up with Larry. Once the crew
 determined that Larry was not dangerous, they attempted to close in for a
 rescue but the draft from the blades would push Larry away whenever they
 neared.

 Finally, the helicopter ascended to a position several hundred feet above
 Larry and lowered a rescue line. Larry snagged the line and was hauled back to
 shore.  The difficult maneuver was flawlessly executed by the helicopter crew.

 As soon as Larry was hauled to earth, he was arrested by waiting members of
 the LAPD for violating LAX airspace.

 As he was led away in handcuffs, a reporter dispatched to cover the daring
 rescue asked why he had done it.  Larry stopped, turned and replied
 nonchalantly, "A man can't just sit around."

 Let's hear it for Larry Waters, the 1997 Darwin Award Winner.