Phrases you'd love to use but don't.....

 * Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...

 * I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

 * How about never?  Is never good for you?

 * I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

 * I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

 * I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

 * I like you.  You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

 * Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point-of-view.

 * No, my powers can only be used for good.

 * It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really
   quite busy.