There once was a young person named Red Riding Hood who lived with
her mother on the edge of a large wood.  One day her mother asked her to take
a basket of fresh fruit and mineral water to her grandmother's house -- not
because this was womyn's work, mind you, but because the deed was generous
and helped engender a feeling of community.  Furthermore, her grandmother was
not sick, but rather was in full physical and mental health and was fully
capable of taking care of herself as a mature adult.

          So Red Riding Hood set off with her basket of food through the
woods.  Many people she knew believed that the forest was a foreboding and
dangerous place and never set foot in it.  Red Riding Hood, however, was so
confident in her own budding sexuality that such obvious Freudian imagery did
not hinder her.

          On her way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hood was accosted by a
Wolf, who asked her what was in her basket.  She replied, "Some healthful
snacks for my grandmother, who is certainly capable of taking care of herself
as a mature adult."

          The Wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl
to walk through these woods alone."

          Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the
extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an
outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own,
entirely valid worldview.  Now, if you'll excuse, me I must be on my way."

          Red Riding Hood walked on along the main path.  But, because his
status outside society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear,
Western-style thought, the Wolf knew of a quicker route to Grandma's house.
He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action
for a carnivore such as himself.  Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist
notions of what was masculine or feminine, he put on grandma's nightclothes
and crawled into bed.

          Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, "Grandma, I have
brought you some fat-free, sodium-free snacks to salute you in your role of a
wise and nurturing matriarch."

          Red Riding Hood said, "Oh, I forgot you are as optically challenged
as a bat.  Grandma, what big eyes you have!"

          "They have seen much, and forgiven much, my dear."

          "Grandma, what a big nose you have -- only relatively, of course,
and certainly attractive in its own way."

          "It has smelled much, and forgiven much, my dear."

          "Grandma, what big teeth you have!"

          The Wolf said, "I am happy with who I am and what I am," and leaped
out of bed.  He grabbed Red Riding Hood in his claws, intent on devouring
her.  Red Riding Hood screamed, not out of alarm at the Wolf's apparent
tendency toward cross-dressing, but because of his willful invasion of her
personal space.

          Her screams were heard by a passing woodchopper-person (or log-fuel
technician, as he preferred to be called).  When he burst into the cottage,
he saw the melee and tried to intervene.  But as he raised his ax, Red Riding
Hood and the Wolf both stopped.

          "And what do you think you're doing?" asked Red Riding Hood.

          The woodchopper-person blinked and tried to answer, but no words
came to him.

          "Bursting in here like a Neanderthal, trusting your weapon to do
your thinking for you!" she said.  "Sexist!  Speciesist!  How dare you assume
that womyn and wolves can't solve their own problems without a man's help!"

          When she heard Red Riding Hood's speech, Grandma jumped out of the
Wolf's mouth, took the woodchopper-person's axe, and cut his head off.  After
this ordeal, Red Riding Hood, Grandma, and the Wolf felt a certain
commonality of purpose.  They decided to set up an alternative household
based on mutual respect and cooperation, and they lived together in the woods
happily ever after.