A few tips on better writing...


* Avoid alliteration.  Always.
* Employ the vernacular.
* Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
* Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
* Contractions aren't necessary.
* Eliminate quotations.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations.
  Tell me what you know.
* Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
* Who needs rhetorical questions?
* Be more or less specific.
* One-word sentences?  Eliminate.
* Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
* Subject and verb always has to agree.
* Do not use a foreign term when there is an adequate English quid pro quo.
* Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
* One should never generalize.
* It behooves the writer to avoid archaic expressions.
* Do not use hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it effectively.
* Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
* Understatement is always best.
* Do not put statements in the negative form.
* If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition
  can be avoided by rereading and editing.
* A writer must not shift your point of view.
* And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
* A preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.
* Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
* Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10
  or more words, to their antecedents.
* Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
* If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
* Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
* Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in
  their writing.
* Always pick on the correct idiom.
* Avoid cliches like the plague.  (They're old hat.)
* Mixed metaphores are a pain in the neck and should be thrown out the window.
* Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
* Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.
* Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas.
* Consult a dictionary frequently to avoid mispelling.
* Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly
  superfluous.
* Don't repeat yourself or say what you have said before.
* Remember to never split an infinitive.
* The passive voice should not be used.
* Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
* Don't use no double negatives.
* Proofread carefully to see if you have any words out.
* Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
* Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
* Avoid colloquial stuff.
* Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
* No sentence fragments.
* Remember to finish what